January 26, 2008

Stupidity, Frustration and Sadness

It never ceases to amaze me the dumb things that people do. I'm not sure what is worse that they have no clue that he or she is doing something stupid, or that he or she knows and does it anyway. For example why send someone a coupon for stamps that expired in 1994 and expect to receive a reply? Or assume that a pdf file refers to storing things on a 3.5 floppy? And it doesn't matter how detailed one gets in writing instructions, people still won't read them. I have to be fairly cryptic, but if you want the real details you know where to find me.

I've been feeling sorry for myself, yet again, because of the stupid job situation. Didn't get the dream job, my current temp job ended and I haven't found any announcements for assistantships for next year. I want to finish school, but I'm not sure how that is going to happen. Costs a lot of money for grad school. Ideally, if I can find an assistantship, that would handle the last class and my portfolio defense and my prospectus creation and defense. But I can't get one with my department because I'm entering my fourth year and I'm not finished with my portfolio. So the only options are outside the department, but nothing has panned out yet. I keep telling myself it is early, but...I'm worried. If I can get a full time job I'd be able to get loans to finish school, that would work, it wouldn't be great and I'd never get to see Scott in between class, work and study, but I'd finish somehow. I'm so very tired of being in limbo and wondering where my next paycheck will come from and if I'll ever get to finish with school and get on with my life. I know that taking the year off was the right thing to do--the only thing to do--but part of me is really angry at myself for not sucking it up and going on. Part of me still feels like a loser for taking a year off.

I know we all have to grow up and move on, duh, that's what happens with life, but there are some things that just suck about being an adult. I miss the college days at times, and I think those of us who were part of the Bitch Barn family and extended family wish we could all be together at the barn for a Saturday night of video games, drinking, laughing, talking, and maybe some orange-juice-can-shot-putting. It wouldn't make reality go away, but for a couple of hours we could all be together and laughing. I know it would help me a lot but I know of one person in particular it would help even more. I wish computers could give hugs.

1 comment:

Margaret said...

To hell with real life! It's no fun.

You come visit sometime, we'll all get together. :)