How I met Mr. Wonderful

Scott and I celebrated our fifth anniversary on August 1st.  We both had to stop and think about the significance of that.  It has been the longest relationship for either of us, as well as the longest either one of us has lived with another individual that wasn't a family member.  We have had good times and bad times and through it all we still seem to love each other.  Go figure!

As many of my friends know, my marriage to a certain guy fell apart in the summer of 2005.  We were legally separated when I went to my friend Gill's wedding in July. It was at Gill and Ben's wedding that I had a kind of epiphany.  Hell would have frozen over before I told Gill about my divorce on the weekend of her wedding - so I went, acting happily married and cringing on the inside. So needless to say I wasn't expecting to enjoy myself - it was going to take all my strength just to get through the weekend.  The day before the wedding was the first time I met Gill's hubby-to-be, Ben and when and I saw the two of them together, I realized that I never had that kind of relationship with my ex.  And so I stopped feeling sorry for myself, and so when I got back from Arkansas I started online dating.

I had gone on a couple of dates with guys I had met on match.com, but wasn't really thrilled - so I raised the age limit - and Scott had just lowered his age limit.  (There is a 13 year difference between us - but we don't even notice it)  He winked at me first, so  I read his profile and I said to myself, "No way, he created his profile after reading mine!" So we chatted online before I headed to San Francisco for ATHE conference.   We exchange phone numbers, and he told me to give him a call if I had time in between conference sessions.

I had a couple of hours free before my first session so I gave him a call - well I ended up being late to my first session!  We talked everyday, for as much as we could.  At one point he even considered flying out to meet me - I told him we wouldn't get to spend time together because I was in the conference -so why doesn't he just pick me up at the airport in Detroit.

Yep, the first time we met in person was at the baggage claim in the McNamara terminal at the Detroit airport.  It was like a plot to bad romantic comedy - I can honestly say it was love at first sight - well actually before first sight - in fact he already had a ring for me when he picked me up - it is a Celtic silver ring that translates to "Song of my heart." (insert awwww here).  He has since met my family and most of my college friends and has passed approval with everyone (like that would ever stop me).  He makes me very happy. We are very lucky to have found each other.  And every day I'm amazed to find myself in a loving and healthy relationship - I prefer to save the drama in my life for the stage, thank you very much.

My "new" job

Yesterday was my first day of my "new" job.  It is part time with odd hours and scheduling.  I worked yesterday for 8 hours, I'll work today for 4-6 and then I'm not sure when I'll work again.  Six o'clock yesterday morning found me at a local department store - well actually just one branch of a national chain (the name rhymes with bowls). There I met up with my team leader and was given a set of instructions for the day.  It was chaos to begin with - the District Manager telling us one place while the store is telling us to start in another place. 

We began in juniors - my first run was sportswear - I had to scan an area ticket, scan each item, then hand count and verify. No yellow tags allowed (a handy little thing that helps keep track of counting). Two young ladies from the store hovered and verified my count - nothing like a little pressure to help you get your bearings.  It took a while to remember left to right, front to back and top to bottom.  I also found it difficult to get used to the machines which are now basically mini computers complete with wireless transmitting (no more finding a team leader to upload your data to), touch screen, and easier search tools.  Because I was new, I was only allowed to count the hanging clothes.  The morning consisted of sportswear, misses dress clothes (apparently handkerchief shirts are back in style along with suede jackets - hopefully not worn together - but can never be too sure), petites, winter coats, women's plus, clearance racks (yuck!!!!) and then starting on the Vera Wang line.  By the time our lunch break rolled around, my back was bothering me and I was remembering why I only lasted a couple of months on this job nine years ago.

I spent my lunch break sitting in my car - it was just nice to sit and talk with my mother on the phone.  I discovered the source of the spider webs I kept discovering in my car.  A large wolf spider took up residence in Horatio (my PT Cruiser) back in Minnesota - Mom said she hadn't seen him in so long she thought he left - well he did now - I squished him.  I then felt bad about it, but I couldn't very well have him crawling out of a vent and scaring me half to death while driving on the highway.

After lunch, back to the Vera Wang section, Elle and Daisy Fuentes.  The Vera Wang clothes made me send up a silent prayer to get an office job very soon.  I like the clothes and I'm better suited to that then counting all day - counting just makes me cross and I tend to want to guesstimate rather than be accurate - but  I fought that tendency.  Then I was sent over to men's basics - sleep pants.  Here is where I encountered problems - I got 118 both on my machine and my two counts - the sales associate got 120.  I had already transmitted so she had to go and get the print out and go through it - oh darn.  I was then promoted to ties - not too bad and rather pretty to look at.  I ended my day with men's shirts.  I hate them with a fiery passion.  Too many pins, too difficult to shove back into the cubbyholes they came out of - and then I was expected to recount every item.  This is where I didn't (I know - shame on me) but I figured since I had to take out every individual shirt there was no way I could be off - and I was right. Thus ended my first day - today a grocery store.  I'm thrilled, can't you tell?

Again...

September 21st– my "new" job
September 22nd – thoughts on food
September 23rd – a song that makes you cry (or nearly) and a song that makes you smile
September 24th – how I met Mr. Wonderful
September 25th – favorite quotes
September 26th – a talent of yours
September 27th – a hobby of yours
September 28th – your favorite roles
September 29th – websites
September 30th – job hunting
October 1st – where I live
October 2nd – your day, in great detail
October 3rd – what makes you strong
October 4th – my worst habit
October 5th – whats in my handbag/purse
October 6th – computer games
October 7th – why I am working on my PhD
October 8th – a traveling story
October 9th – new revelations
October 10th – a photo that makes me happy
October 11th - cupcakes
October 12th – why I like cats more than dogs
October 13th – thoughts on coffee
October 14th - weight loss and body image
October 15th - my writing process
October 16th - dealing with loss
October 17th - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days

Recently and 12 years ago.

April 2010 - Chinatown - NYC - Diane and I in NYC on her bachelorette party weekend.  This is pretty mild compared to what happens when we get together.  Diane and I have been very close friends for the past five years - couldn't do with out her in my life.

October 1998 - Assassins! The Musical - I recently have been listening to Assassins again and can't help but remember the people I worked with in the show.  Here's the group from "How I Saved Roosevelt." along with Zangara who kept interrupting our lovely song. ;)

Pet Peeves

I have a couple of pet peeves, and these are really the ones at the top of my list that drive me absolutely up the wall.  I would equate these with the horrible sound of nails on a chalkboard.



Double negatives in sentences along with obviously bad grammar.  It really frustrates me when people use double negatives, for example.  "It don't make no difference to me."  Or when people use the "word" ain't.  How does that sound right?  When I had students in class use double negatives - I would correct them - especially in a speech.  But I can't (I guess I could, but it would be rather rude) go around and correct perfect strangers and say, "I'm sorry, but I think you meant to say It DOESN'T make ANY difference to me."

People failing to use their turn signals.  This one gets me everyday.  I've even made many a sarcastic update on Facebook concerning this irritating thing.  I mean, come on people, I can't read your mind, I don't know which way you're turning unless you indicate it.  There these nifty little things called turn signals!  Use them!

Texting/Cell phone use while driving.  Mostly texting - I've almost been sideswiped twice by semi-truck drivers who were too busy texting to pay attention to the road.  And cell phone usage - get an ear piece, it is so much safer.

Bad Coffee - I don't think this one really needs an explanation.  Life is too short for bad coffee.

Seriously...

Ok, so I was incapacitated for the past two days, so here is the updated schedule

September 14th– 20 of my favorite things
September 17th – a pet peeve
September 18th – a photo of you recently and a photo from over 10 years ago
September 19th – something you are OCD about
September 20th – a fictional book
September 21st– a non-fictional book
September 22nd – thoughts on food
September 23rd – a song that makes you cry (or nearly) and a song that makes you smile
September 24th – how I met Mr. Wonderful
September 25th – favorite quotes
September 26th – a talent of yours
September 27th – a hobby of yours
September 28th – your favorite roles
September 29th – websites
September 30th – job hunting
October 1st – where I live
October 2nd – your day, in great detail
October 3rd – what makes you strong
October 4th – my worst habit
October 5th – whats in my handbag/purse
October 6th – computer games
October 7th – why I am working on my PhD
October 8th – a traveling story
October 9th – new revelations
October 10th – a photo that makes me happy
October 11th - cupcakes
October 12th – why I like cats more than dogs
October 13th – thoughts on coffee
October 14th - weight loss and body image
October 15th - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days

20 Favorite Things

These are in no particular order - some I will explain, others I will blog about later.  Very difficult to narrow it down.

Spending time with Scott - Blogging about how we met later in the challenge.


Spending time with family and friends. - In August, my cousin Jeff came to visit on his way back to his army base.  This was the first time I had seen Jeff since he got back from Iraq in July.  He came just for the day, but we had a great time - one that will be repeated before he goes to South Korea in the spring.  Last month I also got to visit my family in Minnesota.  Mom picked me up in the Twin Cities, we visited my sister-by-marriage and her two new kittens then headed back to the farm where I spent time with my youngest sister-by-marriage before she left for college, and my second dad.  On the trek home I stopped in and spent time with my grandmother - then drove the 17 hours back to Toledo in my "new" purple PT Cruiser - Horatio. It is very rare that I get to see relatives from two different sides of the family in less than a week.  I also got to spend some much needed time with bitch barn buddies and UCM pals.  Chrissy visited last week and we went to the zoo and played Rockband, and then I went to Chicago for research and got to spend time with Jackie who kindly put me up on her super comfy couch.  Then the next day I spent time with Heather and her Sam and Chrissy again.  Mmm tapas.  Spending time with family and friends makes life bearable during the rough times.

Cats - most importantly, Ares. Blogging about their awesomeness later.

Clue - I first saw this movie in the theatre when I was five-years-old with my parents and two neighbor kids.  I own it on DVD, of course, and can quote the entire movie.  It is one of those movies I can put in if I need background noise or if I just need a pick-me-up.

Coffee - Blogging about this at a later date too.

Office Supplies - I can't help it, I love highlighters, post-its, notepads, pens, pencils - you get the picture.  I think that is why I've stayed in school so long - I like school supplies - I especially like to color coordinate, but I like it even more when I find something  I like on sale.

Musical Theatre - I love directing them.  I love acting in them.  I love watching them.  There are three musicals that I hold dear to my heart, Anything Goes, Into the Woods, and You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown.  The first two because of the casts and the characters I got to play - Reno Sweeney and The Baker's Wife.  The second time I did Into the Woods, I had a completely different perspective on the show and can appreciate it on another level.  I directed YAGMCB last fall, and had such an incredible experience - it was just the push I needed to remind myself why I want to be a professor.

Knitting - Blogging about this later too.

Facebook - Because this is where I can keep up with friends and family.

Losing Weight - Blogging about this later too.

Bright Colors - they just make me happy - I love to wear them, knit with them - you get the idea.

Traveling - I'll blog about a favorite trip later, but I really like going to places that I have never been to and exploring.  I started traveling at an early age because my dad was in the army, so I spent a large part of my childhood trekking through parts of Europe.  I love sharing the excitement of visiting a famous historical sites and I love it even more when I get to share those experiences with friends and family.

Reading - I'm a bookworm - take a look at my goodreads page, and this is only a small percentage of my library.

Singing - see musical theatre entry - it makes me happy

IPod - all my music in one small package

Water - favorite drink next to coffee (couldn't make coffee without it) - not bottled - filtered in a reusable bottle thank you very much. It is also fun to swim in, too.

Snuggy & Blanky - two important friends from childhood.

Cupcakes - blogging about this later too.

Ergonomic keyboards - makes the life of a grad student a little less painful

Digital cameras - no more waiting for photos to come back.  I love that I can take a picture and the people who I want to share it with can see it within minutes. That is pretty freakin' cool if you think about it.

Going to try this again...

I was in Chicago this past weekend doing research and had no time to blog.  So, I'm going to adjust the schedule and try this again starting tomorrow.

September 14th– 20 of my favorite things
September 15th – a pet peeve
September 16th – thoughts on coffee
September 17th – why I like cats more than dogs
September 18th – a photo of you recently and a photo from over 10 years ago
September 19th – something you are OCD about
September 20th – a fictional book
September 21st– a non-fictional book
September 22nd – thoughts on food
September 23rd – a song that makes you cry (or nearly) and a song that makes you smile
September 24th – how I met Mr. Wonderful
September 25th – favorite quotes
September 26th – a talent of yours
September 27th – a hobby of yours
September 28th – your favorite roles
September 29th – websites
September 30th – job hunting
October 1st – where I live
October 2nd – your day, in great detail
October 3rd – what makes you strong
October 4th – my worst habit
October 5th – whats in my handbag/purse
October 6th – computer games
October 7th – why I am working on my PhD
October 8th – a traveling story
October 9th – new revelations
October 10th – a photo that makes me happy
October 11th - cupcakes
October 12th - weight loss and body image
October 13th - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days

Six Favorite TV Programs

I am not a TV junkie (at least not right now), but I am particular about the shows I like to watch.  So six favorite TV shows, in no particular order.

Start Trek: The Next Generation


I was addicted to this show as a young teen (I guess they call them tweens now).  My room had posters of Data and Wesley Crusher, I even had a glow in the dark cutout of NCC-1701-D.  I went trick or treating as a Star Trek captain one year - and was slightly disappointed that my communicator resembled the original Star Trek and not TNG.  And yes, I went to three conventions one I saw Sulu, one I met Gates McFadden, and the last one I had my heart broken when reality met with my little fantasy world - Wil Wheaton was nothing like Wesley Crusher.  I was attracted by the adventure and sci-fi, but was drawn in by the characters and the almost idealistic society they came from.  It is a good thing I didn't have a holodeck, I would have needed more interventions than Lt. Barkley.


Buffy: The Vampire Slayer


I didn't get into Buffy until my senior year of college when it was almost over.  The scripts are clever, the characters are intriguing and the dialogue still makes me crack up.
"Dawn's been kidnapped again."
"It must be Tuesday."

Not to mention two super sexy vampires (yes folks - way before Edward) Angel and Spike to drool over fantastic fight sequences.  I'm not ashamed to say that I own the series and have watched it twice, once with commentary and once without.




Charmed

I do own this series too.  And yes it is the complete series in the Books of Shadows and it includes the never aired original pilot.  I like this show because of the strong female characters (yes they were scantily clad, but if I had their bodies I would be too), who fought evil and saved the world.  I grew up an only child (much more like Buffy or Wesley) so I think that part of the appeal was the thought of having sisters that you not only enjoyed being around but you worked well together too.  When Pru was killed off, I remember being concerned if the show could survive - instead it just got better with Paige.  I now have three younger step sisters - so like Paige, I went from being an only child to having siblings.  But unlike Paige, my step-sisters and I don't fight evil on a daily basis and don't have any kick-ass supernatural powers - that I know of.


The rest, I think speak for themselves.

Favorite College Memories

There is a group of people that I am still in touch with simply known as The Bitch Barn.  A majority of us met freshmen year at UCM, and we just kind of picked people up a long the way, the name didn't come around until 2001 when a majority moved into a house on College Street, most lived there, others like myself just seemed to spend every waking minute there and another still lived in a different state, but she became a Bitch Barnian by proxy.

So many memories, they all run together (yes some because of copious amounts of alcohol), but mostly because we all just had a good time together.  Up until recently we even had our own private chat room/discussion board. (By the way, where did it go?) and we try to have yearly reunions since we are all spread across the US now (a majority in Missouri, but Ohio, Illinois, Arizona, and California are in the mix as well).  Yeah, we've grown up (maybe not grown up, but gotten older), but we still find time to keep in touch despite all of the grown up stuff we seem to do now (buying houses, having kids, etc.).

Lots of memories blend together - all with great amounts of laughter involved.  There was the champagne incident - sure lucky the cork didn't hit that car.  There was the truth or dare games - can't forget one particularly interesting dare that involved the pillar of the neigbhor's porch.  There was New Year's (that silly blanket game and Russian cooking and shots of some type of alcohol), oh and who could forget the shot put contest with a can of orange juice concentrate.  And our most recent reunion involved nerf guns in the hallway of the Drury Inn.

We've been there for each other through everything, weddings, funerals, divorces, graduations and most recently a birth (ok so not actually at the birth, but you get the main idea).  The second generation of Bitch Barnites was born last month!  Right now one of the Barnites is visiting me while she is on a vacation of sorts.  Today we went to the zoo, but now we are too tired to walk down to the art museum (we think it is because we are getting old.) She's going through some stuff right now and I'm glad to be here for her, and her company has been a godsend for me.  Being unemployed and trying to write and job hunt and everything else has really thrown me for a loop - and with a good college friend here, I feel a bit more stable - even though I know I can get through this tough stuff - with her here I actually BELIEVE I will get through it. 

I guess what prompted this specific rant is a conversation I had with my youngest sister-by-marriage a couple of weeks ago.  She just started her freshmen year of college and I was just answering some of her questions and I remember telling her how much fun I had my freshmen year - that it was a very influential year not only because I started my college career, but because of the friends I made - that are still my closest friends today.  I hope she has a similar experience.

Where I am at versus where I want to be

I am a very driven and optimistic person.  I used to be very driven and pessimistic person.  I am constantly striving to improve while appreciating what I have accomplished - this wasn't always the case.  I used to look at my accomplishments as failings, always telling myself, "I could have done more here." or "If I had just worked harder I would have (fill in the blank)" or my absolute all time favorite (sarcasm of course), "I'm just not (good, smart, pretty, talented etc.) enough."  So now when I look at where I am at and where I want to be, I always remember to look at where I have been.

I am currently 185 pounds, I want to be 160.  These past couple of months have been rough both physically and emotionally.  And despite all of my work on my eating disorder, old habits die very hard and I have been doing a lot of emotional eating (eating when I'm not hungry or bored, portion control way out of control) as well as unhealthy eating (two weeks straight of having ice cream every evening).  I don't feel good when I'm not eating healthy, but I can't seem to get it under control.  But I have to remember where I started at - 250 pounds in February of 2009.  I have come a long way, and just thinking of that number is helping me to stop and examine why I'm making the food choices I am.  So, enough beating myself up - watch the food intake, increase the exercise and think positive - I can do this.

I am currently unemployed, I would like to be employed.  My graduate assistantship ended in August and I am currently job hunting.  I've signed up with a temp agency - but so far nothing.  I've sent out 50 resumes in the area - so far nothing.  And I've been told I'm over qualified to work at Target.  Only one panic attack in the last week and that was when I looked at my bank account - but was quickly remedied when I sold my old car in less than 7 hours of posting it on Craig's List.  I just need to find something to pay bills while I write my dissertation - and trust me working an office job or even back at RGIS (yes, I applied - ick), will provide motivation to get the thing DONE.

I am currently financially unstable, I would really love to be financially stable.  See above for one reason, but the other was my spending habits - credit cards were not my friend, and I didn't get it through my head not to use them.  I consolidated my debt with a debt management system and have been credit card free for nine months.  (See I'm still seeing the silver lining.)  It would just be nice to not have to pay money on clothes that I no longer own because they are too big. (Bye bye Lane Bryant card - forever!)

I am currently writing my dissertation proposal, I would really love to be finished and defended and ABD (all but dissertation).  It has been a long and hard road and I want it done.  And sometimes it seems that no matter how hard or fast I work it is still not good enough.  I'm working on the third rewrite of my proposal - but hey it is better than the fourteen rewrites I had for my portfolio.  At times it makes me wonder if I am good enough, my ego and confidence have taken a major beating these past six years.  But I have to keep reminding myself where I have been, how far I have come - and that I CAN do this and I WILL do this, and each time I go back to rewrite, it becomes a little easier and a lot more clear as to what I am doing.  But sometimes I would just really like to have it all finished and not be a grad student anymore.  To quote a cartoon fish, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...."

30 Day Blogging Journal

Ok, so I'm swiping a page from my buddy Amanda, who borrowed from someone else, who probably borrowed from someone else...you get the idea. I figure, since I'm up to my eyeballs with writing any way, a good way to get me into my daily writing is blogging. So I've borrowed the template Amanda's using, but I've tweaked a few things, to make me push myself a little more. So starting tomorrow, September 8, 2010 - I will blog for the next 30 days.

September 8th – where you are at versus where you want to be
September 9th – a favorite college memory
September 10th – six favorite television program
September 11th – a traveling story
September 12th – new revelations
September 13th – 20 of my favorite things
September 14th– a photo that makes you happy
September 15th – a pet peeve
September 16th – thoughts on coffee
September 17th – why I like cats more than dogs
September 18th – a photo of you recently and a photo from over 10 years ago
September 19th – something you are OCD about
September 20th – a fictional book
September 21st– a non-fictional book
September 22nd – thoughts on food
September 23rd – a song that makes you cry (or nearly) and a song that makes you smile
September 24th – your favorite quotes
September 25th – my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
September 26th – a talent of yours
September 27th – a hobby of yours
September 28th – your favorite roles
September 29th – websites
September 30th – job hunting
October 1st – where I live
October 2nd – your day, in great detail
October 3rd – what makes you strong
October 4th – my worst habit
October 5th – whats in my handbag/purse
October 6th – hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days
October 7th – why I am working on my PhD