So starting week three of taking care of Wayne, and guess what brilliant thing he asked Scott to do today? He asked Scott to go get the handsaw out of the garage (keeping in mind this is a 79 year old man with a broken leg (red cast now - re-casted on Thursday). Scott asked him why, Wayne answered, "So I can saw off part of my cast."
We of course asked him why, and apparently it has been bothering him since yesterday. "Why didn't you say something yesterday?" asked Scott. You know, when we could have taken him back to the doctor.
"Because I didn't want to go back to the doctor," said Wayne. Oh, of course, what was I thinking - it is much more fun to let you trim it down yourself!
Obviously we didn't give him the handsaw, but we did notice a strange tear on the top part of his cast - apparently he has an utility knife on the side table that he used to saw at it for a while. We attempted to point out the potential problem with this idea (i.e, cutting himself and bleeding to death before we come back to check on him), but he quickly pointed out that he wasn't going to cut himself. Right, kind of like he meant to break his ankle two weeks ago.
Ares is doing much better. He loves his new prescription cat food (even with the crushed up pill inside), he seems to think he should have it every time someone goes in the kitchen. Everything looks good in his cat box so no sign of blockage (yes, my second favorite thing to do after cleaning up after Wayne, is to come home and checkout Ares's litter box - woo hoo, I sure know how to party.) He is much more affectionate lately too (Ares, not Wayne - although Wayne is remembering to say please and thank you - so I guess you could call that affectionate). Anyway, Ares goes back for a checkup next Saturday - so here's hoping the infection is cleared up.
Oh yeah, and I was able to write seven more questions while sort of listening to my fellow grad students give papers. Hey, gotta write when inspiration hits.
February 27, 2010
February 24, 2010
I passed my defense...and then lots of other stuff happened
February 12 -
So, I passed the defense of my specialized portfolio! Woo hoo! Which means I can continue in the program and write my dissertation proposal (and then defend that) and then my dissertation (and defend that too). It was actually an enjoyable hour and a half, lots of gems of insight - things I had not thought of - and some praise too - which I really wasn't expecting. I even got a glowing email of praise from my advisor the following Monday. I printed it and it went in my "Read this when you need to feel better about yourself professionally" file.
Six hours later, Scott and I celebrated by going out to dinner and then settling in to watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics - then the phone rang. Scott's Dad, Wayne, fell on the ice. We rushed over to his place and then raced him to the ER - 3 hours later - fractured right ankle. Must stay off of it for at least 6 weeks. We leave his place once we get him settled in bed and come home around midnight to find our cat, Ares, had gotten sick.
We figured Ares just had a hairball, until he sleeps with us the entire night and doesn't get off the bed once.
February 13 -
Nine A.M. finds me rushing Ares to the vet and Scott going to his Dad's. I have to leave Ares at the vet's while they run all sorts of tests and give him fluids because he was dehydrated. Around 12:30 I call them to get an update - kidneys are fine (whew). 1:30 they call back and let me know they found a kidney stone and he has a urinary tract infection. Antibiotics for a week - bring him back the next weekend.
Ares gets home and is running around like a wild man, meanwhile his excess skin is hanging even lower on his belly because of the fluids - and is kind of giving him a bingo wing effect -or maybe a flying squirrel would be more accurate.
Finally relax (after going over to Wayne's) - and I remember - Oh yeah, I passed!
February 14-17
Taking care of Wayne, trying to write protocol questions (get five more completed and all organized), assistantship stuff, I think I did other stuff but everything is kind of fuzzy now. Small disagreement with Scott, and then one with Wayne so I left and went to the grocery store. And oh yeah, I passed!
February 18
Take Wayne to the orthopedic surgeon, still slightly irked with him but not as much, Scott and I are cool. Surgeon says surgery is needed (pins and plates) but not a good idea with Wayne's age (79) and health (not so great). Cast (not a walking cast), wants us to come back the following week to re-evaluate (i.e. hasn't completely ruled out the idea of surgery, but will more than likely have to recast) The current cast is blue, if he has to recast I want pink - but Wayne wouldn't go for that. And oh yeah, I passed!
February 19
See February 14-17 minus the disagreements, but beginning of the wheel chair saga.
February 20
Take Ares back to the vet. Still blood and bacteria in his urine - most likely urinary tract disorder. The doc ordered another two weeks of antibiotics and special cat food. (I have to have a prescription card for this food and cannot purchase it until I show it at the checkout...my cat has a prescription card). I determine it is a good thing I love my kitty so very much to spend $700 on him in one week. But he loves his new cat food and they don't need to see him for two weeks this time. Oh yeah, still taking care of Wayne. By now it finally sunk in I've passed - but now I realize - yikes - I have a LOT of work to do.
February 21-23
Taking care of Wayne, trying to stay on my diet plan, but really craving peanut butter. Graduate assistantship stuff gets crazy, two irritating students - and still no further on my dissertation proposal or protocol questions.
February 24
That brings us to today. I'm not sleeping well do to the added tension of, well, my life. Although I think that watching Dexter (season 3) before bed might have something to do with that - mostly now that my schedule has completely changed because of a) Wayne, and b) problems at work - I'm trying to just keep it together physically and mentally. I think because I didn't have time for it to sink in that I passed, and get to celebrate that fact, everything feels a lot more overwhelming at the moment. I didn't have the chance to decompress before everything started back up again - so now the small things that didn't irritate me are becoming gigantic issues. I've gone back to the mentally beating myself up because I haven't accomplished what I thought I should by this point, or that I put a couple of pounds on rather than taking them off. Old habits die hard!!! And it is taking a lot for me to remember that I'm not Wonder Woman (even though at the age of 5 I was convinced I was for about 3 weeks). I'm just going to keep getting through the days - do what I can - and spring break is just one week from Monday. I'll take spring break to lay out the rest of my proposal and take myself to a couple of movies. And on a completely different note, I recently purchased an ergonomic keyboard, and while typing this entry I realized that I only ever hit the space button with my left hand and if I try to hit it with my right, I have to stop and think about it. Weird.
So, I passed the defense of my specialized portfolio! Woo hoo! Which means I can continue in the program and write my dissertation proposal (and then defend that) and then my dissertation (and defend that too). It was actually an enjoyable hour and a half, lots of gems of insight - things I had not thought of - and some praise too - which I really wasn't expecting. I even got a glowing email of praise from my advisor the following Monday. I printed it and it went in my "Read this when you need to feel better about yourself professionally" file.
Six hours later, Scott and I celebrated by going out to dinner and then settling in to watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics - then the phone rang. Scott's Dad, Wayne, fell on the ice. We rushed over to his place and then raced him to the ER - 3 hours later - fractured right ankle. Must stay off of it for at least 6 weeks. We leave his place once we get him settled in bed and come home around midnight to find our cat, Ares, had gotten sick.
We figured Ares just had a hairball, until he sleeps with us the entire night and doesn't get off the bed once.
February 13 -
Nine A.M. finds me rushing Ares to the vet and Scott going to his Dad's. I have to leave Ares at the vet's while they run all sorts of tests and give him fluids because he was dehydrated. Around 12:30 I call them to get an update - kidneys are fine (whew). 1:30 they call back and let me know they found a kidney stone and he has a urinary tract infection. Antibiotics for a week - bring him back the next weekend.
Ares gets home and is running around like a wild man, meanwhile his excess skin is hanging even lower on his belly because of the fluids - and is kind of giving him a bingo wing effect -or maybe a flying squirrel would be more accurate.
Finally relax (after going over to Wayne's) - and I remember - Oh yeah, I passed!
February 14-17
Taking care of Wayne, trying to write protocol questions (get five more completed and all organized), assistantship stuff, I think I did other stuff but everything is kind of fuzzy now. Small disagreement with Scott, and then one with Wayne so I left and went to the grocery store. And oh yeah, I passed!
February 18
Take Wayne to the orthopedic surgeon, still slightly irked with him but not as much, Scott and I are cool. Surgeon says surgery is needed (pins and plates) but not a good idea with Wayne's age (79) and health (not so great). Cast (not a walking cast), wants us to come back the following week to re-evaluate (i.e. hasn't completely ruled out the idea of surgery, but will more than likely have to recast) The current cast is blue, if he has to recast I want pink - but Wayne wouldn't go for that. And oh yeah, I passed!
February 19
See February 14-17 minus the disagreements, but beginning of the wheel chair saga.
February 20
Take Ares back to the vet. Still blood and bacteria in his urine - most likely urinary tract disorder. The doc ordered another two weeks of antibiotics and special cat food. (I have to have a prescription card for this food and cannot purchase it until I show it at the checkout...my cat has a prescription card). I determine it is a good thing I love my kitty so very much to spend $700 on him in one week. But he loves his new cat food and they don't need to see him for two weeks this time. Oh yeah, still taking care of Wayne. By now it finally sunk in I've passed - but now I realize - yikes - I have a LOT of work to do.
February 21-23
Taking care of Wayne, trying to stay on my diet plan, but really craving peanut butter. Graduate assistantship stuff gets crazy, two irritating students - and still no further on my dissertation proposal or protocol questions.
February 24
That brings us to today. I'm not sleeping well do to the added tension of, well, my life. Although I think that watching Dexter (season 3) before bed might have something to do with that - mostly now that my schedule has completely changed because of a) Wayne, and b) problems at work - I'm trying to just keep it together physically and mentally. I think because I didn't have time for it to sink in that I passed, and get to celebrate that fact, everything feels a lot more overwhelming at the moment. I didn't have the chance to decompress before everything started back up again - so now the small things that didn't irritate me are becoming gigantic issues. I've gone back to the mentally beating myself up because I haven't accomplished what I thought I should by this point, or that I put a couple of pounds on rather than taking them off. Old habits die hard!!! And it is taking a lot for me to remember that I'm not Wonder Woman (even though at the age of 5 I was convinced I was for about 3 weeks). I'm just going to keep getting through the days - do what I can - and spring break is just one week from Monday. I'll take spring break to lay out the rest of my proposal and take myself to a couple of movies. And on a completely different note, I recently purchased an ergonomic keyboard, and while typing this entry I realized that I only ever hit the space button with my left hand and if I try to hit it with my right, I have to stop and think about it. Weird.
February 6, 2010
It's like having a new computer...and other random things
So Scott installed Windows 7 on my computer. It is like having a new computer. Which is great, and frustrating at the same time. Woo hoo - something new to play with, but dang it, I can't find things as fast. Oh well, I will adjust. I'm really excited about the Snap feature, I just have yet to get it to work - that is on my list for tomorrow.
In other random items, I cleaned off my desk. My reasoning was that if I was cleaning up the computer then the desk should be clean as well. I even dusted, I estimate it will only take a couple of days for a layer of cat hair to make its way back onto the desk.
I think I finally understand what people are saying when they are feeling their age. I over did the workout yesterday, I feel like I did 10 years ago when I was starting the Vegas Stage Combat Workshop - only it was 25 minutes - not 10 hours. And I apparently didn't increase my water intake enough either, when I got up this morning (and I had every intention of going through my workout), my legs were swollen. I drink 8-12 glasses of water a day when I'm not working out - I guess I need to drink at least 4 more glasses when I do work out. So instead of doing the second day of my 30 day challenge on Wii Active, I had to settle for Yoga, balance and strength training for 25 minutes on the Wii Fit.
This week I will be baking 96 muffins for my graduate seminar Coffee, Cookies and Conversation hour (a better way of saying Show talk back time). So I'm making banana nut, blueberry, cranberry and spice muffins - from scratch. I'm trying to decide if I should wait and bake them all on Wednesday night, so they are fresh for Thursday morning, or if I should spread them out over two evenings. All of the muffins come from the same basic recipe in How to Cook Everything cookbook. I've used the recipe so much that the book automatically opens to the page. It was originally Scott's cookbook, but he never used it until I started to use it and now it is a standard in our house. We even bought the How to Cook Everything Vegetarian, which has already proven its worth and we've only had it four days. I might attempt an extra dozen muffins of one type or another - after all it isn't really nice of me to bake muffins and then not have any for Scott and his dad to try. I might up it to three dozen of each type, simply because I have three 12 cup muffin tins - and I'd hate to have to mix up two different batches of muffins and then only be able to bake a batch and a half at a time....(these are the things I think about and obsess over when I am trying not to stress about my defense - and it works too!)
In other random items, I cleaned off my desk. My reasoning was that if I was cleaning up the computer then the desk should be clean as well. I even dusted, I estimate it will only take a couple of days for a layer of cat hair to make its way back onto the desk.
I think I finally understand what people are saying when they are feeling their age. I over did the workout yesterday, I feel like I did 10 years ago when I was starting the Vegas Stage Combat Workshop - only it was 25 minutes - not 10 hours. And I apparently didn't increase my water intake enough either, when I got up this morning (and I had every intention of going through my workout), my legs were swollen. I drink 8-12 glasses of water a day when I'm not working out - I guess I need to drink at least 4 more glasses when I do work out. So instead of doing the second day of my 30 day challenge on Wii Active, I had to settle for Yoga, balance and strength training for 25 minutes on the Wii Fit.
This week I will be baking 96 muffins for my graduate seminar Coffee, Cookies and Conversation hour (a better way of saying Show talk back time). So I'm making banana nut, blueberry, cranberry and spice muffins - from scratch. I'm trying to decide if I should wait and bake them all on Wednesday night, so they are fresh for Thursday morning, or if I should spread them out over two evenings. All of the muffins come from the same basic recipe in How to Cook Everything cookbook. I've used the recipe so much that the book automatically opens to the page. It was originally Scott's cookbook, but he never used it until I started to use it and now it is a standard in our house. We even bought the How to Cook Everything Vegetarian, which has already proven its worth and we've only had it four days. I might attempt an extra dozen muffins of one type or another - after all it isn't really nice of me to bake muffins and then not have any for Scott and his dad to try. I might up it to three dozen of each type, simply because I have three 12 cup muffin tins - and I'd hate to have to mix up two different batches of muffins and then only be able to bake a batch and a half at a time....(these are the things I think about and obsess over when I am trying not to stress about my defense - and it works too!)
February 5, 2010
Owww and Woo hoo
I woke up sore from my 30 minutes of Wii Fit Yoga and strength training. I almost talked myself out of doing the Wii Active, but I didn't (yea me!) Although, I probably won't be saying that tomorrow morning. So I got up at 6:30 this morning and almost didn't workout, but I had two cups of coffee and watched an episode of The Sanctuary and decided to get my butt in gear. So by the time Scott was walking out the door for work, I was starting my workout.
The Wii Active kicked my butt In retrospect, I probably should have started with a low intensity workout. I like the exercises, especially the target boxing, the only exercise that I I'm not thrilled with at the moment is the inline skating. I never seem to jump in time for it to register - so my screen self wobbles on the landing. I've also discovered that I need yet another new sports bra, as it has been 30lbs since I've done any fast exercise and things are not staying in place. Even after the warm up run that the program had me do today I just started to realize how much I need to tighten up the abs. My core is very weak, I never realized how much weight I was carrying around and how much that effected my muscle tone. In some ways it is like I'm going through adolescence again - each day my body changes and I have to get used to it again. Go figure.
The workout did the trick. I was able to sit in one place and work today - and actually accomplish something. I finally finished the consent form that has to go into my Human Subject Research packet, now just tweaking the questions I will ask my participants, and finishing touches on the intro letter and that can go to the HSRB committee next week. Finishing this has helped me to focus and start to layout my prospectus. I'm no longer dreading it, I'm actually looking forward to putting it down on paper. My biggest problem is focusing on the small items first rather than overwhelming myself with the big picture. I read in a book (can't remember which book) How do you eat an elephant? - One bite at a time, focusing on just that bite before looking to the next one. Weird, but it works.
It is snowing again...I'm really tired of the winter weather. I get depressed in the winter - lack of sunshine. So each day I try to find something to be happy about, no matter how odd it is or how bad I feel - cause things have been worse. So today when I got home and was bumming about the gloomy weather I picked up my cat Ares and hugged him. Well he had just woke up and so was still in that warm sleepy kitty stage - so he was purring and giving lots of kitty kisses. So I just buried my face in his neck and let his warm and comforting kitty smell soothe me. And wouldn't you know it - the weather didn't suck so much anymore!
The Wii Active kicked my butt In retrospect, I probably should have started with a low intensity workout. I like the exercises, especially the target boxing, the only exercise that I I'm not thrilled with at the moment is the inline skating. I never seem to jump in time for it to register - so my screen self wobbles on the landing. I've also discovered that I need yet another new sports bra, as it has been 30lbs since I've done any fast exercise and things are not staying in place. Even after the warm up run that the program had me do today I just started to realize how much I need to tighten up the abs. My core is very weak, I never realized how much weight I was carrying around and how much that effected my muscle tone. In some ways it is like I'm going through adolescence again - each day my body changes and I have to get used to it again. Go figure.
The workout did the trick. I was able to sit in one place and work today - and actually accomplish something. I finally finished the consent form that has to go into my Human Subject Research packet, now just tweaking the questions I will ask my participants, and finishing touches on the intro letter and that can go to the HSRB committee next week. Finishing this has helped me to focus and start to layout my prospectus. I'm no longer dreading it, I'm actually looking forward to putting it down on paper. My biggest problem is focusing on the small items first rather than overwhelming myself with the big picture. I read in a book (can't remember which book) How do you eat an elephant? - One bite at a time, focusing on just that bite before looking to the next one. Weird, but it works.
It is snowing again...I'm really tired of the winter weather. I get depressed in the winter - lack of sunshine. So each day I try to find something to be happy about, no matter how odd it is or how bad I feel - cause things have been worse. So today when I got home and was bumming about the gloomy weather I picked up my cat Ares and hugged him. Well he had just woke up and so was still in that warm sleepy kitty stage - so he was purring and giving lots of kitty kisses. So I just buried my face in his neck and let his warm and comforting kitty smell soothe me. And wouldn't you know it - the weather didn't suck so much anymore!
February 4, 2010
Envelopes, Budgets, Chocolate and Anxiety
I am very proud to announce that I have not used a credit card in two months! As intended, I went to the Consumer Credit Counseling Services of Northwest Ohio and enrolled in the debt management plan and all of the credit card companies have accepted the terms. By May 14, 2014 I will be debt free (credit card debt - student loans - that is a different matter completely). I was only paying the minimum payments, and at that rate I would never get out of debt - now I pay half of what I did. I'll be saving $12,000 in interest by the time I pay off the last card in 2014.
I also went to the Student Money Management Services on campus and got help setting up a budget/system to keep track of my spending. A lovely woman name Patricia introduced me to a yearly excel spread sheet, that for my little brain seems to be working pretty well. I've also implemented the envelope system. I have an envelope for each day of the week and at the end of each day I put the receipts in the day's envelope. And each week, I take my cup of coffee, turn on some tunes and go through my receipts and update my spending plan and budget. Until I started tracking some of my expenditures, I never realized how much money I was spending on coffee. Yes, that is right - I have a coffee habit. I used to get Starbucks 6 days a week, most of the time it was just coffee, but often times I'd have a cap or a frap or some other drink - and the price really added up. Now, I've cut back to 3-4 times a week, during the work week - I only get a grande coffee and in my Starbucks travel mug (save $.10 per cup), and one fancy coffee drink on the weekends. Also during the week I can only by my coffee with change I have with me - so no cash, no coffee. So the whole spending plan and budgeting thing is really paying off so far.
I passed another milestone in my weight loss 73.2 lbs. I have 19.6 lbs. until my goal - 150 lbs. That might sound heavy, but to me that is skinny, especially when at my heaviest I was 250lbs. To date I have gone from a size 20-22 to a size 9-10. I can fit into an 8, but won't wear it out in public yet. I know that I've lost weight - really I get it - people don't recognize me sometimes (which I find weird, but that is beside the point) - but I still feel like I'm a fat woman. I spent so much time overweight that it is difficult to accept that I'm average size now. I've also developed another odd bit of paranoia - I feel (and I KNOW this is ridiculous) like people are watching what I eat and just waiting for me to put all the weight back on. And don't even get me started in shopping for clothes - I went and picked up an eight at Old Navy, and was sure that everyone around me was thinking, "Who does that fatso think she's fooling by buying an 8!" So needless to say I have some mental adjustments to make as I embrace this new body.
As of two hours ago, I got back on a regular exercise routine. I did my Wii Fit for the first time in 543 days, as it so lovingly pointed out. It was cool my Mii doesn't look like a bowling ball with legs anymore, however the thing still says I'm overweight. And I must admit, I was not too happy with the couch potato comment when I wasn't balancing well during one Yoga pose. It will take some adjusting, I was used to carrying all of that extra weight and now that I don't have it I'm having to relearn how to balance again - and wow are my abs weak! So this getting into shape thing is going to be difficult - but worth it. I felt much better (mood wise) after I went through the Yoga. Tomorrow it is on to my Wii Active.
In other news, I defend my specialized portfolio with my full committee next Friday. What does this mean? Well, if I pass then I can continue on in the program (ie prospectus and diss), if I don't pass then I'm done. So think positive thoughts that day. I'm getting really anxious about it - which in a way is kind of silly since it is really out of my hands at this point - but I find it hard to focus and get things done. If my bitchbarn crew was closer I'd say we need to have a "Get Macaela Drunk Night" and see what antics I would attempt while intoxicated. But since we are scattered, I will have to try something else instead. Suggestions? I should knit, but that would require me to sit in one place for longer than five minutes and I haven't been able to do that this past week - but I will attempt it again. Before when I was anxious I'd eat. It is a good thing there is no ice cream in the house. It is at these times that I miss pizza the most!!!! I have nutritionally designed chocolate candy I can have - but it is no substitute for a real piece of chocolate - and I'm not talking Hershey. If only I could buy single Ferraro Rochers at the grocery store.... Le sigh.
I also went to the Student Money Management Services on campus and got help setting up a budget/system to keep track of my spending. A lovely woman name Patricia introduced me to a yearly excel spread sheet, that for my little brain seems to be working pretty well. I've also implemented the envelope system. I have an envelope for each day of the week and at the end of each day I put the receipts in the day's envelope. And each week, I take my cup of coffee, turn on some tunes and go through my receipts and update my spending plan and budget. Until I started tracking some of my expenditures, I never realized how much money I was spending on coffee. Yes, that is right - I have a coffee habit. I used to get Starbucks 6 days a week, most of the time it was just coffee, but often times I'd have a cap or a frap or some other drink - and the price really added up. Now, I've cut back to 3-4 times a week, during the work week - I only get a grande coffee and in my Starbucks travel mug (save $.10 per cup), and one fancy coffee drink on the weekends. Also during the week I can only by my coffee with change I have with me - so no cash, no coffee. So the whole spending plan and budgeting thing is really paying off so far.
I passed another milestone in my weight loss 73.2 lbs. I have 19.6 lbs. until my goal - 150 lbs. That might sound heavy, but to me that is skinny, especially when at my heaviest I was 250lbs. To date I have gone from a size 20-22 to a size 9-10. I can fit into an 8, but won't wear it out in public yet. I know that I've lost weight - really I get it - people don't recognize me sometimes (which I find weird, but that is beside the point) - but I still feel like I'm a fat woman. I spent so much time overweight that it is difficult to accept that I'm average size now. I've also developed another odd bit of paranoia - I feel (and I KNOW this is ridiculous) like people are watching what I eat and just waiting for me to put all the weight back on. And don't even get me started in shopping for clothes - I went and picked up an eight at Old Navy, and was sure that everyone around me was thinking, "Who does that fatso think she's fooling by buying an 8!" So needless to say I have some mental adjustments to make as I embrace this new body.
As of two hours ago, I got back on a regular exercise routine. I did my Wii Fit for the first time in 543 days, as it so lovingly pointed out. It was cool my Mii doesn't look like a bowling ball with legs anymore, however the thing still says I'm overweight. And I must admit, I was not too happy with the couch potato comment when I wasn't balancing well during one Yoga pose. It will take some adjusting, I was used to carrying all of that extra weight and now that I don't have it I'm having to relearn how to balance again - and wow are my abs weak! So this getting into shape thing is going to be difficult - but worth it. I felt much better (mood wise) after I went through the Yoga. Tomorrow it is on to my Wii Active.
In other news, I defend my specialized portfolio with my full committee next Friday. What does this mean? Well, if I pass then I can continue on in the program (ie prospectus and diss), if I don't pass then I'm done. So think positive thoughts that day. I'm getting really anxious about it - which in a way is kind of silly since it is really out of my hands at this point - but I find it hard to focus and get things done. If my bitchbarn crew was closer I'd say we need to have a "Get Macaela Drunk Night" and see what antics I would attempt while intoxicated. But since we are scattered, I will have to try something else instead. Suggestions? I should knit, but that would require me to sit in one place for longer than five minutes and I haven't been able to do that this past week - but I will attempt it again. Before when I was anxious I'd eat. It is a good thing there is no ice cream in the house. It is at these times that I miss pizza the most!!!! I have nutritionally designed chocolate candy I can have - but it is no substitute for a real piece of chocolate - and I'm not talking Hershey. If only I could buy single Ferraro Rochers at the grocery store.... Le sigh.
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